During these months of frustrations and doubt in myself, I have found that my testimony in Him is ever growing. I know that my pains and aches are only but a small inkling to what our Savior experienced for us, for me. I know that anything I may deal with now is but a drop in the spectrum of eternity. I am so thankful that about this time last year, I opened my heart and began the journey of coming unto my Savior, my Lord, Jesus Christ. I know that I am a daughter of God. I know that whatever this life has in store for me, it is for my good. I can choose to grow from the experiences and opportunities afforded me or I can choose to be bitter and resentful and pitiful. I choose love. I choose life.
Enos 1:8: And he said unto me; Because of they faith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard or nor seen. And many years pass away before he shall manifest himself in the flesh; wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
College Girl
In this whirlwind of medical craziness, I needed something else to focus on, so I am going to school! I am very excited to begin the summer semester at SLCC. I'm only going to take one class for the summer, but come fall semester I've got a full-time schedule planned. Woooohooooo!!! Nursing degree, here I come!
An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away..Or Does It?
On January 2nd, 2011 I proclaimed this the Year of Medical Interventions. Did I actually mean it? No. It is true? Yes. Due to symptoms of random things beginning last autumn I have seen the following specialists/providers - urogynecologist, physical therapist, gastoenterologist, ob/gyn specializing in pelvic pain, rheumatologist, and internist. I've been poked, prodded, scanned, scoped, radiated, drained, and x-rayed. At first glance it might seem that I just have a bunch of random things going on, until you remember that in the last few years I've also seen a neurologist and cardiologist. And next up will be the geneticist. Oh, the fun we are having! But it doesn't end there...
Now for the newest diagnoses - rectocele, cystocele (I'm certain the uterus is following along), pelvic floor dysfunction, gastritis, eosinophilic esophagitis, hiatal hernia, fibromyalgia, pretty certain a connective tissue disorder/disease, we just have to figure out which one, and Vit D deficiency.
The treatments - Since I can't continue the physical therapy due to pain and urogynecologist can't continue durther testing due to pain, it's time to take care of one cause of pain. The cause of this particular pain is from vulvar vestibulitis. I'm getting ready to have a vestibulectomy and I can say I am not excited about the procedure, but I am excited about the possibility of being able to be pain-free in at least that aspect. I'm also currently taking meds to help with the gastritis, that I'm not quite sure are helping, a med for the eosinophilic esophagitis, and will be starting 50,000 iu of a Vit D prescription.
Why do I want to share these very personal issues I have? Because I know I am not alone in having them, but not enough information is shared about them. It's hard enough to admit any kind of intimacy with your spouse is painful. It's hard to admit that something doesn't feel quite right when you go to the bathroom. It's frustrating when your body hurts and you don't know why and nobody seems to understand. It's frustrating when you are young and should be in great health, but something just isn't right. I hope that as I open up and talk about some of these things, maybe someone will know they aren't alone. Maybe someone will get the courage to talk with a dr. Maybe someone will feel hope.
Now for the newest diagnoses - rectocele, cystocele (I'm certain the uterus is following along), pelvic floor dysfunction, gastritis, eosinophilic esophagitis, hiatal hernia, fibromyalgia, pretty certain a connective tissue disorder/disease, we just have to figure out which one, and Vit D deficiency.
The treatments - Since I can't continue the physical therapy due to pain and urogynecologist can't continue durther testing due to pain, it's time to take care of one cause of pain. The cause of this particular pain is from vulvar vestibulitis. I'm getting ready to have a vestibulectomy and I can say I am not excited about the procedure, but I am excited about the possibility of being able to be pain-free in at least that aspect. I'm also currently taking meds to help with the gastritis, that I'm not quite sure are helping, a med for the eosinophilic esophagitis, and will be starting 50,000 iu of a Vit D prescription.
Why do I want to share these very personal issues I have? Because I know I am not alone in having them, but not enough information is shared about them. It's hard enough to admit any kind of intimacy with your spouse is painful. It's hard to admit that something doesn't feel quite right when you go to the bathroom. It's frustrating when your body hurts and you don't know why and nobody seems to understand. It's frustrating when you are young and should be in great health, but something just isn't right. I hope that as I open up and talk about some of these things, maybe someone will know they aren't alone. Maybe someone will get the courage to talk with a dr. Maybe someone will feel hope.
Hello, Again.
Maybe we'll give this another try. As one can see, I'm not very good at this blogging thing, though I should be, since in the real world I seem to have no trouble with random ramblings. Suppose I ought to get better at the whole picture taking thing too. Not very good at that one either. When they say parents taken thousands upon thousands of pictures of the oldest child, while the youngest has maybe 10, they aren't lying. It's horribly true.
But now I'm going to tell you. The ponderings of my mind lately include some pretty personal events. Consider yourself warned.
But now I'm going to tell you. The ponderings of my mind lately include some pretty personal events. Consider yourself warned.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
5 Positive for Every Negative - Breastfeeding
In our Sunday School class we have talked about how it is important for spouses to say 5 positive comments for every 1 negative or neutral comment. I like this idea. And I think it should be applied to all aspects of ones life. So here is my one negative:
I am feeling so irritated at the moment that for the last few months, every time I sit down, I am seen as the mlking cow to my son. When I don't volunteer the milk, he lifts/pulls/tears my shirt off himself, and if I still decline to acquiese, then he slaps he slaps. GAAAAH!!!
1. I am blessed to be able to breastfeed him. There are some who are unable at all and some who would love to nurse longer than they have experienced. Next week my babe will 18 months and he still loves the breast.
2. Because of breastfeeding, my son has a stronger immunity. Illnesses last shortly and are infrequent, even with having two older brothers.
3. We have a stronger bond because of how much time has been spent breastfeeding. This is not to say that you can only have a strong bond with breastfeeding, but it is true for my son and I.
4. Because of the amount of time spent breastfeeding, my older boys have come to understand that breasts are not just sexual. My children only know that breasts are functional for the purposes of feeding and soothing babies. And that ideal is reinforced everytime my booby monster is at the breast.
5. No matter how upset my baby is, I know that he can be calmed by the closeness of nursing. He can feel my warmth, hear my heart beating, and close his eyes in comfort as his belly is filled with the deliciousness of mama milk. Those are comforts he's known from the beginning.
I am feeling so irritated at the moment that for the last few months, every time I sit down, I am seen as the mlking cow to my son. When I don't volunteer the milk, he lifts/pulls/tears my shirt off himself, and if I still decline to acquiese, then he slaps he slaps. GAAAAH!!!
1. I am blessed to be able to breastfeed him. There are some who are unable at all and some who would love to nurse longer than they have experienced. Next week my babe will 18 months and he still loves the breast.
2. Because of breastfeeding, my son has a stronger immunity. Illnesses last shortly and are infrequent, even with having two older brothers.
3. We have a stronger bond because of how much time has been spent breastfeeding. This is not to say that you can only have a strong bond with breastfeeding, but it is true for my son and I.
4. Because of the amount of time spent breastfeeding, my older boys have come to understand that breasts are not just sexual. My children only know that breasts are functional for the purposes of feeding and soothing babies. And that ideal is reinforced everytime my booby monster is at the breast.
5. No matter how upset my baby is, I know that he can be calmed by the closeness of nursing. He can feel my warmth, hear my heart beating, and close his eyes in comfort as his belly is filled with the deliciousness of mama milk. Those are comforts he's known from the beginning.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
September
We'll start at the end of August....
*Paul, our boys, and I were sealed together for all time and eternity on our 7th wedding anniversary (and my birthday) at the Salt Lake Temple. It was so beautiful. I am full of gratitude and love for those who came to support our sealing. It was neat too, as my cousin and his wife were married later that week so Paul and I had a chance to see a temple marriage so soon after our own. Absolutely wonderful.
*Kade started speech therapy. He's been going twice a week since the end of August and his speech has improved dramatically already. Not only is he doing well during sessiosn, but he's spontaneously using the correct letter sounds at home too!
And throughout September...
*Trent's vocabulary has just soared! He says at least 40 words, with new words added daily. At 17 months he folds his arms for prayers, eats well with a spoon and fork, drinks from a regular cup all by himself, kicks a ball, walks well, tries to run, enjoys "reading", throws paper airplanes, loves to pretend and dress-up, always says "thanks" after receiving something, says "amen" after bedtime prayers, loves feeding the ducks and chickens, thinks showers are the best thing in the world, poops regularly in the potty, and lots more. Yes, he is still a breastfed babe!
*Kade is trying out riding Braxton's two wheeler bike and actually stays on by himself for a moment or two! He is so amazing. Kade started school at a private preschool (yes, we are still homeschoolers!) so that he can make friends with some other kids his age. He loves it there. His teacher was a homeschooling mom herself and has taught preschool for over 20 years. Every day that I pick him up he is just so excited from the time he spent at school. When I ask him what did he do that morning he says, "I played with toys, I ate a yummy snack, I sang some songs, Read some books.....it was so much fun!!"
*Braxton's reading and math skills have really taken off. He enjoys reading the children's versions of The Book of Mormon, Old Testament, New Testament, and then of course Dr. Seuss, Arthur series, and anything that has anything to do with the ocean. His new favorite obsession though is paper airplanes. All day long he is working on those engineering skills as he designs and formats new plane ideas.
*We ate our rooster. Yes. It's true. And I don't advise anyone to eat a 1 year old bird. It was awful. Not only was the slaughtering horrific, but the taste was just terrible. Whiskey enjoyed it though.
*We acquired two new ducks, after finding out the three remaining ducks were all boys. Boo. So now we have two egg layers that we are waiting on to lay eggs. And since we don't want to just feed lots of male ducks, we gave away 2 of the 3 males. I would like to believe that they are now living happily together in a nice yard, enjoying shade and a lovely pool of water, but I think the lady who picked them up was licking her lips too much for that to happen. I have a feeling she ate orange sauce today.
*We went to the Utah State Fair and had a fantastic time. We don't do the rides or much of the expensive food. Instead we enjoy seeing the animals, the crafts, and watching the various magic shows. And the Ice Cream Festival. Oh yes, my friends, an ICE CREAM FESTIVAL. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I think this about sums up the last month and a half. I can't believe the year is 3/4 of the way over already. Now we are getting ready for Halloween, Braxton's 6th(!!!) birthday, Puerrrrrto Rrrrriico(!!), and then the holidays. Whew! That's exhausting just thinking about it. Oh, and I found a snail in the washer today. It came from Kade's pocket. I remembered after pulling the gooey-shelled creature from the penny catcher that Kade had put a snail in his pocket while we were on a walk the other day. Good times.
*Paul, our boys, and I were sealed together for all time and eternity on our 7th wedding anniversary (and my birthday) at the Salt Lake Temple. It was so beautiful. I am full of gratitude and love for those who came to support our sealing. It was neat too, as my cousin and his wife were married later that week so Paul and I had a chance to see a temple marriage so soon after our own. Absolutely wonderful.
*Kade started speech therapy. He's been going twice a week since the end of August and his speech has improved dramatically already. Not only is he doing well during sessiosn, but he's spontaneously using the correct letter sounds at home too!
And throughout September...
*Trent's vocabulary has just soared! He says at least 40 words, with new words added daily. At 17 months he folds his arms for prayers, eats well with a spoon and fork, drinks from a regular cup all by himself, kicks a ball, walks well, tries to run, enjoys "reading", throws paper airplanes, loves to pretend and dress-up, always says "thanks" after receiving something, says "amen" after bedtime prayers, loves feeding the ducks and chickens, thinks showers are the best thing in the world, poops regularly in the potty, and lots more. Yes, he is still a breastfed babe!
*Kade is trying out riding Braxton's two wheeler bike and actually stays on by himself for a moment or two! He is so amazing. Kade started school at a private preschool (yes, we are still homeschoolers!) so that he can make friends with some other kids his age. He loves it there. His teacher was a homeschooling mom herself and has taught preschool for over 20 years. Every day that I pick him up he is just so excited from the time he spent at school. When I ask him what did he do that morning he says, "I played with toys, I ate a yummy snack, I sang some songs, Read some books.....it was so much fun!!"
*Braxton's reading and math skills have really taken off. He enjoys reading the children's versions of The Book of Mormon, Old Testament, New Testament, and then of course Dr. Seuss, Arthur series, and anything that has anything to do with the ocean. His new favorite obsession though is paper airplanes. All day long he is working on those engineering skills as he designs and formats new plane ideas.
*We ate our rooster. Yes. It's true. And I don't advise anyone to eat a 1 year old bird. It was awful. Not only was the slaughtering horrific, but the taste was just terrible. Whiskey enjoyed it though.
*We acquired two new ducks, after finding out the three remaining ducks were all boys. Boo. So now we have two egg layers that we are waiting on to lay eggs. And since we don't want to just feed lots of male ducks, we gave away 2 of the 3 males. I would like to believe that they are now living happily together in a nice yard, enjoying shade and a lovely pool of water, but I think the lady who picked them up was licking her lips too much for that to happen. I have a feeling she ate orange sauce today.
*We went to the Utah State Fair and had a fantastic time. We don't do the rides or much of the expensive food. Instead we enjoy seeing the animals, the crafts, and watching the various magic shows. And the Ice Cream Festival. Oh yes, my friends, an ICE CREAM FESTIVAL. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I think this about sums up the last month and a half. I can't believe the year is 3/4 of the way over already. Now we are getting ready for Halloween, Braxton's 6th(!!!) birthday, Puerrrrrto Rrrrriico(!!), and then the holidays. Whew! That's exhausting just thinking about it. Oh, and I found a snail in the washer today. It came from Kade's pocket. I remembered after pulling the gooey-shelled creature from the penny catcher that Kade had put a snail in his pocket while we were on a walk the other day. Good times.
Friday, August 20, 2010
What's New?
Well..hmmm...lots. Shall we start individually? Youngest goes first...
Trent - He is 16 months old now and has all of his teeth. He can say many things, but usually only in front of me. Sometimes to Paul. But here's the short list, "mama", "dada", "no", "pee", "ew", "what's that?", "who's that?", "woof", "meow", "need", "hi", "boo", "water", "tree", "one, two, three". Trent loves tickling, growling, using different voices to be different "characters", like Batman, and just loves doing whatever the Big Boys are doing. Oh! And he's walking. Yes, folks, that's right. On August 17th Trent walked from one end of the house to other all by himself! And yes, he is still happily breastfed. :)
Kade - Has a vocabularly that is growing a mile a minute. He will also be starting speech therapy next month, so that everyone can understand his hundreds of new words. During his evaluation we found out just how smart he is and let's just say he can comprehend the same as those who are twice his age. Which reminds me, Kade is 3 1/2 next month. He is a pro-tricycle rider and I think he's ready for a big boy bike with training wheels. He loves to draw (just look at the walls!) and is doing great at tracing his name and numbers. He can recite our address and has an amazing imagination. Kade is my superhero.
Braxton - He is 5 3/4. And if you say anything else you are going to hear about it. He reads well and does simple math well. Braxton loves riding his scooter, flying paper airplanes, and has a current interest in origami. He has lost his bottom front baby teeth and the adult teeth are almost all the way in. It seems as though Braxton has lost his interest in Bionicles, which is big, since for about a year or more he would only eat, sleep, and breath Bionicles.
Paul and Kimberly - I suppose the biggest new change in our life though would be spiritual. Since the end of May, Paul, the boys, and I have been going to church together. Yes, it's true. My path down the wiccan road has come to an end. I am proud to announce that I have found my way back to "the church". I am a Latter Day Saint and very, very happy. Paul and I were recently endowed. That in and of itself was wonderful. And quickly arriving, on our 7th wedding anniversary and my 25th birthday, Paul and I will be sealed to one another and our children to become an eternal family. Our lives have become filled with happiness, hope, love, and peace. Choosing to live by the gospel has truly been a blessing to our home.
Trent - He is 16 months old now and has all of his teeth. He can say many things, but usually only in front of me. Sometimes to Paul. But here's the short list, "mama", "dada", "no", "pee", "ew", "what's that?", "who's that?", "woof", "meow", "need", "hi", "boo", "water", "tree", "one, two, three". Trent loves tickling, growling, using different voices to be different "characters", like Batman, and just loves doing whatever the Big Boys are doing. Oh! And he's walking. Yes, folks, that's right. On August 17th Trent walked from one end of the house to other all by himself! And yes, he is still happily breastfed. :)
Kade - Has a vocabularly that is growing a mile a minute. He will also be starting speech therapy next month, so that everyone can understand his hundreds of new words. During his evaluation we found out just how smart he is and let's just say he can comprehend the same as those who are twice his age. Which reminds me, Kade is 3 1/2 next month. He is a pro-tricycle rider and I think he's ready for a big boy bike with training wheels. He loves to draw (just look at the walls!) and is doing great at tracing his name and numbers. He can recite our address and has an amazing imagination. Kade is my superhero.
Braxton - He is 5 3/4. And if you say anything else you are going to hear about it. He reads well and does simple math well. Braxton loves riding his scooter, flying paper airplanes, and has a current interest in origami. He has lost his bottom front baby teeth and the adult teeth are almost all the way in. It seems as though Braxton has lost his interest in Bionicles, which is big, since for about a year or more he would only eat, sleep, and breath Bionicles.
Paul and Kimberly - I suppose the biggest new change in our life though would be spiritual. Since the end of May, Paul, the boys, and I have been going to church together. Yes, it's true. My path down the wiccan road has come to an end. I am proud to announce that I have found my way back to "the church". I am a Latter Day Saint and very, very happy. Paul and I were recently endowed. That in and of itself was wonderful. And quickly arriving, on our 7th wedding anniversary and my 25th birthday, Paul and I will be sealed to one another and our children to become an eternal family. Our lives have become filled with happiness, hope, love, and peace. Choosing to live by the gospel has truly been a blessing to our home.
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