Ali's Unassisted Waterbirth

On January 29th Paul and I decided not to go to church because he was exhausted from working overtime the night before and I was beyond angry with the world. I was 40 wees 6 days and since this was the longest I'd ever gestated before I was cranky, mean, and frustrated. It was for the benefit of everyone else that we didn't go. However, a wonderful woman in our ward, A, called to check in on me (though that was the last thing I wanted) and asked if she could stop by around 12:00pm. Thinking it was to bring me something edible and leave, I agreed. When she showed up with her bin and bag of pedicure supplies I was overwhelmed to say the least. How incredibly thoughtful of her to want to want to help me feel better with a bit of pampering! How much I did not want her to be in my house and just to go away! I woke up Paul and hid in my room, as I was embarrassed by feeling that way, and had him go out to talk to A. While they talked I began my second heaving meltdown of the day complete with outrageous sobbing and doubting my ability to birth and raise children. In hindsight, this was a fantastic sign! A woman at the end of pregnancy tends to break down like this. We'll call it "pregnancy transition". Anyhow, after a bit Paul came back to the bedroom and insisted I allow A to help me, so I asked if she would watch our boys while Paul and I took a walk. It was during our walk that I began to really feel deeply connected to Paul. This was just the beginning.


After walking for about an hour across the neighborhood, we came back and got ready to head to his mom's house. Nothing excited happened then, so we'll fast forward to the night. Around 8pm I took one tablespoon of castor oil. No, it wasn't to induce anything, as this is less than the usual "induction dose", but I hadn't done the "cleanout" one usually experiences within the last few nights, and I was afraid of repeating history after Trent’s birth. Then on with the night of putting my boys to bed and watching The Terminal (with Tom Hanks). By 11:30pm we were getting ready for bed and I noticed the return of Braxton-Hicks contractions. At midnight I was too uncomfortable in bed and decided to take a shower. This was nothing new for me as many nights I’d been uncomfortable and needed a shower and so didn’t think much of it. While in the water, Paul commented that my belly looked way lower than it did even earlier that day. By 1am I was beyond tired and decided to fall asleep on the couch convinced I would be waking up at 8am still gestating. I was wrong.

At 3am I woke up with my entire belly feeling rock hard and the sensation of water leaking out of me. With all 3 of my boys labor didn’t start with spontaneous rupture of membranes and with Kade and Trent my water didn’t break until pushing or crowning; this was new. I got up and went to the bathroom and when I stood up from the toilet it was like someone had turned the faucet on and then off. Luckily I was standing on an orange towel and noticed white speckles in the fluid. It was definitely not pee. I called down the hall to Paul to bring me some clean unders and a pad (took a few times since he had to wake up) and from that point on the contractions were never less than 2 minutes apart or lasting less than 1 – 1 ½ minutes apart. I told Paul I needed the birth tub filled so he brought that to the kitchen and began filling that with the hottest water. While I sat on the toilet or squatted by the railing, I kept telling Paul this better be the real thing or else I’m going to be really angry. He just smiled as he prepared the boiling water for the umbilical string, knife to cut the cord, and tea for the Shephard’s Purse. About 10 minutes later I got into the tub and felt relief. I’m not going to lie, jets make it soooo much better, but laboring in the water is far superior to being out of the water. The contractions continued in strength and intensity, each time I would move forward on to my hands and knees, moaning low and relaxing my hips, sometimes rocking a bit. This was by far the most intense labor I’ve ever had. Each contraction was harder than the last, most were double peaking, and I became overwhelmed. I thought I was insane for being at home, that there was no way I could do this for hours, and that I just wanted to be done. The pressure in my tailbone and hips felt hot and crushing. I asked (begged) Paul to push on my hips and back, but each time I needed harder and longer and it was straining on him. He kept at it though. By 4:30am I started to cry and tell Paul I didn’t want to do this anymore. Around then Kade came out and found us in the kitchen, all the lights were off except for the light over the stove, and sat down on the kitchen chair. He wanted to talk at first, but I told him that his sister was getting ready to be born and that he needed to be very quiet. Then he farted and amazingly, I found that funny and it took the intensity away for a few moments. That’s when the next contraction came and I started to grunt through it. It felt better than just relaxing and I could push against Paul’s fists that were firmly against my sacrum. So long as Paul didn’t move, I could manage.

I don’t know what time it was at this point, but it wasn’t long after starting to grunt during contractions that I was afraid these little pushes I was doing were causing my cervix to swell and that if I was only 6cm (I had no idea really, just a number I decided on) that these little pushes would make things so much harder and longer. My logical brain took over for a brief moment and I decided to reach down and feel if I had any swelling at my perineum. I felt some and gently felt inside my birth canal for anything, not sure what to expect. My baby’s head was less than an inch away from my perineum! I wasn’t 6cm! I was about to have a baby!! I quietly told Paul that I felt her head and my body just took over. I screamed like a tea kettle as I pushed, gentle at first, then fierce and desperate. Kade went running down the hall and woke up Braxton and Trent to tell them Ali was coming. Her head slowly emerged through the infamous Ring of Fire and I applied counterpressure around her head, waiting to feel if her head was posterior. She was facing down and I felt so relieved, then I felt for her neck and found her cord wrapped around it and gently slipped two fingers between her neck and the cord to create some slack. Another moment later and her shoulders were out and I gently brought her out of the water. I remember telling Paul, “She’s so small!” The whole actual pushing lasted all of maybe 5 minutes, but it felt like it was in slow motion. My sweet babe let out a cry and her body immediately pinked up, but her face was turning white. Paul came in front of us and I told him her cord was too short to hand her to him, then he noticed that no, it wasn’t too short; it was still wrapped around her neck. We lowered her a bit (of course keeping her head out of the water) and he took the cord off and her face immediately pinked up and she began crying full, hearty cries. Paul grabbed the warmed towels and while she was against my chest we placed two of them over her. I looked up and saw all 3 of my boys were watching in awe at their baby sister and I in the tub. Again, a few minutes later I held our sweet girl and Paul helped us both down the hall to our bed (he’d already prepared it) so I could birth the placenta. I had called my mom before getting out of the tub and asked her to come over to help with my boys. She arrived shortly after my placenta came out. My mom says she was amazed at the peace in our home and helped in tying the umbilical cord, preparing the smoothie, and helping with our boys. Having her there was a deeply healing and loving experience.

Ali Elisabeth was born at 41 weeks on January 30th, 2012 at 4:57am weighing 7 lbs 9 oz and measuring 19 ¾ inches long. She is perfect in every way and loved so deeply by her brothers, Paul, and I. Paul continued staying vigiliant in my immediate postpartum care by monitoring my bleeding and preparing my placenta smoothie, cleaning up the birth tub, bringing me several cups of Shephard’s Purse tea, checking me for tears, and more. There is far more to the story, but there is no way to express every detail. Experiencing birth this way, in such a raw form, with just Paul and I, has been incredible. After getting into the tub I asked Paul for a blessing. I know that by turning to the Lord, we were guided through. From the time I found out I was pregnant through the birth I continued to develop an ever greater testimony in our Savior. I knew that so long as I followed in faith, we’d be guided in faith. I also have found I am more in love with Paul than ever before. He is an incredible husband, partner, and father.

I am so in love with my family! Welcome to the world, my sweet baby daughter!

5 Positive for Every Negative - Breastfeeding

In our Sunday School class we have talked about how it is important for spouses to say 5 positive comments for every 1 negative or neutral comment. I like this idea. And I think it should be applied to all aspects of ones life. So here is my one negative:

I am feeling so irritated at the moment that for the last few months, every time I sit down, I am seen as the mlking cow to my son. When I don't volunteer the milk, he lifts/pulls/tears my shirt off himself, and if I still decline to acquiese, then he slaps he slaps. GAAAAH!!!

1. I am blessed to be able to breastfeed him. There are some who are unable at all and some who would love to nurse longer than they have experienced. Next week my babe will 18 months and he still loves the breast.

2. Because of breastfeeding, my son has a stronger immunity. Illnesses last shortly and are infrequent, even with having two older brothers.

3. We have a stronger bond because of how much time has been spent breastfeeding. This is not to say that you can only have a strong bond with breastfeeding, but it is true for my son and I.

4. Because of the amount of time spent breastfeeding, my older boys have come to understand that breasts are not just sexual. My children only know that breasts are functional for the purposes of feeding and soothing babies. And that ideal is reinforced everytime my booby monster is at the breast.

5. No matter how upset my baby is, I know that he can be calmed by the closeness of nursing. He can feel my warmth, hear my heart beating, and close his eyes in comfort as his belly is filled with the deliciousness of mama milk. Those are comforts he's known from the beginning.

September

We'll start at the end of August....

*Paul, our boys, and I were sealed together for all time and eternity on our 7th wedding anniversary (and my birthday) at the Salt Lake Temple. It was so beautiful. I am full of gratitude and love for those who came to support our sealing. It was neat too, as my cousin and his wife were married later that week so Paul and I had a chance to see a temple marriage so soon after our own. Absolutely wonderful.

*Kade started speech therapy. He's been going twice a week since the end of August and his speech has improved dramatically already. Not only is he doing well during sessiosn, but he's spontaneously using the correct letter sounds at home too!

And throughout September...

*Trent's vocabulary has just soared! He says at least 40 words, with new words added daily. At 17 months he folds his arms for prayers, eats well with a spoon and fork, drinks from a regular cup all by himself, kicks a ball, walks well, tries to run, enjoys "reading", throws paper airplanes, loves to pretend and dress-up, always says "thanks" after receiving something, says "amen" after bedtime prayers, loves feeding the ducks and chickens, thinks showers are the best thing in the world, poops regularly in the potty, and lots more. Yes, he is still a breastfed babe!

*Kade is trying out riding Braxton's two wheeler bike and actually stays on by himself for a moment or two! He is so amazing. Kade started school at a private preschool (yes, we are still homeschoolers!) so that he can make friends with some other kids his age. He loves it there. His teacher was a homeschooling mom herself and has taught preschool for over 20 years. Every day that I pick him up he is just so excited from the time he spent at school. When I ask him what did he do that morning he says, "I played with toys, I ate a yummy snack, I sang some songs, Read some books.....it was so much fun!!"

*Braxton's reading and math skills have really taken off. He enjoys reading the children's versions of The Book of Mormon, Old Testament, New Testament, and then of course Dr. Seuss, Arthur series, and anything that has anything to do with the ocean. His new favorite obsession though is paper airplanes. All day long he is working on those engineering skills as he designs and formats new plane ideas.

*We ate our rooster. Yes. It's true. And I don't advise anyone to eat a 1 year old bird. It was awful. Not only was the slaughtering horrific, but the taste was just terrible. Whiskey enjoyed it though.

*We acquired two new ducks, after finding out the three remaining ducks were all boys. Boo. So now we have two egg layers that we are waiting on to lay eggs. And since we don't want to just feed lots of male ducks, we gave away 2 of the 3 males. I would like to believe that they are now living happily together in a nice yard, enjoying shade and a lovely pool of water, but I think the lady who picked them up was licking her lips too much for that to happen. I have a feeling she ate orange sauce today.

*We went to the Utah State Fair and had a fantastic time. We don't do the rides or much of the expensive food. Instead we enjoy seeing the animals, the crafts, and watching the various magic shows. And the Ice Cream Festival. Oh yes, my friends, an ICE CREAM FESTIVAL. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I think this about sums up the last month and a half. I can't believe the year is 3/4 of the way over already. Now we are getting ready for Halloween, Braxton's 6th(!!!) birthday, Puerrrrrto Rrrrriico(!!), and then the holidays. Whew! That's exhausting just thinking about it. Oh, and I found a snail in the washer today. It came from Kade's pocket. I remembered after pulling the gooey-shelled creature from the penny catcher that Kade had put a snail in his pocket while we were on a walk the other day. Good times.

Mega Update

I know, I know, it's been a month since I last blogged. So here is what has happened in our lives over the last month:

Trent - has become so very fast at crawling, pulls up to stand on EVERYTHING, asks "what's that?"and "who's that?" all day long, says "wuv", "mama", "dada", "yes", and mimics a whole lot more.

Kade - turned 3!! My sweet babe has turned into quite the monster, but so goes with the territory of a having a three year old. The day before his actual birthday we took him to the dinosaur museum with our family and my younger sister's family and they got to make some awesome fossil moldings. The 3 year olds made raptor claws and the 5 year old made a T-Rex tooth. The rest of the night and all the next day Kade refused to part with his "Happy Burtday Rapper Claw". On his birthday he was ever so satisfied when he opened an overwhelming amount of train gifts (thanks, family!!) and has been in love ever since.

Braxton - had his first piano performance and did fantastic! Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star never sounded more beautiful. We are taking break from taekwondo for a little while and really focusing on the music. He is just thriving and really enjoys it.

Paul - turned 27!! Yep, his birthday is the day after Kade's. We had a very romantic date and enjoyed getting fancied up for our dinner reservations at The Roof (courtesy of my most recent client, thank you!!). The food was excellent, the music wonderful, and I can't tell you how nice it was to spend a few hours just enjoying one another's company. Paul had also been busy making a toy room downstairs! We are leaving the walls unfinished for now so that the kids can express their artistic urges freely and the floor made up of the mats one would find in a karate studio. It's awesome having a living room again!

Myself -exactly one month ago I attended a client for the first time in a year. My goodness, it was a beautiful birth. And my amazing friend, Megan, watched my boys for me overnight. I'm so thankful to have Megan as such a close friend. She is the best! And since then I have been putting together birthday plans and playing host as we get through all the birthday-ness. And woohoo for mail packages containing uteruses, pelvises, placentas, and more! Oh..and I have read The Best Birth (DON'T READ!), The Blue Cotton Gown (READ!), A Pea In A Pod (READ!), Homebirth in the Hospital (READ!), and Real Birth (READ!) along with the first two books in The Hunger Games. And if you haven't read those, stop whatever it is you are doing right this moment and read them!!

Together we have planted our starts and as of this evening we have about 45 yellow tomatos sproutlings. The boys love to go down and look every morning and night for new sprouts. We are still patiently waiting for our chickens to provide us with a bounty of eggs but have faith it'll happen soon. Lastly, we are learning Italian as a family. The boys are such sponges and are soaking it all up!

Ciao!

a little bit of everything

Gah. I am good at the taking of pictures, but not so good at the posting of pictures. Sooo...one of these days I'll do another mass picture post.

In other news, Trent is a crawler! For one whole week he's been making his way about the house and everyday he's getting farther and faster. And let me tell you, crawling on hardwood floors is NOT easy. No, no, my friends. But he has figured out a system of crawl-scooting that gets him where he wants to go.

Kade is my counter. He's taken to counting everything lately. Well, up to 15 and then he starts over. I think math skills are definitely a stronger suit for him. And his speech and vocabulary is getting so good! I am so proud of the progress he has made in the last 6 months. It was only about last August when he really started saying more than about 10-30 words (including the "words" only I could understand). He's now speaking in long sentences and understandable to everyone about 75% of the time.

Braxton has be learning the piano and is now in formal lessons (woohoo for ksl!!). After Day 1 he seems to be really enjoying them and I think this is going to be a great thing. He's also getting better at handwriting and practicing by writing letters to family members and soon to be writing to his first pen pals. So watch your mail!

In less than a month Kade will turn 3 years old and we are all so excited for his birthday. On the third birthday is when we do a friend party as well as the regular family party. We're planning on going to the dinosaur museum...woohooo!!! So while I am getting his two party details taken care of I'm also preparing for Trent's 1st birthday. Can you believe it? I know I can't. My deliously squishy tiny babe is about to become a toddler. Where, oh where, does the time go?

Hmm...any more updates? Oh! We are now learning about sharks. In our recent studies I have learned the names of all the fins...do you know them? If you didn't they are the dorsal fin, second dorsal, the caudal, the anal, the pelvic, and the pectoral. And sharks have a vertebrae, but their spine is the only bone in their body. The rest is made up of cartilege. Bet ya didn't know that, did ya?

Two New Teeth, Two Loose Teeth

Today I can see that Trent is growing his last two front teeth before working on the molars and Braxton's bottom two teeth are loose! Holy moly! I wonder how long it will take before they start falling out...I'm guessing until about June. I'm really glad Kade is done with any teething for the time being since the idea of 3 boys with new teeth popping up doesn't sound like my idea of a good time....

Jibber Jabber

Isn't it amazing how different all children are? Even kids in the same family. Just so different. Braxton has been so vocal and has an impeccable memory, Kade is so active, has a GREAT imagination, and is so sensitive, and Trent is so sweet.

He's proving to be a bit of a ham, quite shy, and so observant. I think he's soaking in the details. He will blurt words out every now and then like yesterday when he looked at me and said, "Chicken!" plain as day. I laughed and said, "Chicken?" and after bursting with giggles he says, "Chicken!". I love it. Trent calls Paul dada and I am mamma. He knows Whiskey is a dog and I think he's tried to say "Kade". And with how often he make the "t" sound I wonder if he is trying to say "Trent". Braxton said his name perfectly for the first time at 9 months, so I wouldn't be surprised at all if Trent did the same. Holy cow, I can't believe Trent is 9 months on Sunday! If he were to nurse for the same amount of time as Kade did then in less than a year he will be weaned. I hope not. I hope he nurses until he is 2. I love it and I know he does too (and yes, he has teeth. 6 of them with the 7th on the way!).

Baby Bites

Trent has 5 teeth! Holy moly!! His first tooth came in at 4 months old and I think with all the teething he's been doing it's had a little something to do with his rejection of purees. I have made several different purees and he hasn't really cared for any of them..though the worst thing I could offer him is mushy cereal. His sweet mouth becomes sealed jaws of steel if I bring out the barley. So what solid food will he eat?

*Cheerios
*Baby Mum Mums
*Bananas cut into pieces
*Avocado cut into pieces
*Steamed veggies: peas, green beans, green pepper, yellow pepper, broccoli, and potatoes
*Rice
*Wheat toast
*Cottage cheese (this one I'm embarrassed to say I've offered, since he's only 8 months...but he didn't try it UNTIL 8 months!!)
*Shreds of meat: beed and chicken

When I see it written down that is a pretty good menu for a babe who's never actually eaten a pureed food. And of course I am trying not to compare with Braxton and Kade who loved eating purees from the start. To this day Kade will try anything once, and if Braxton tells Kade it's good, Kade will snarf it up. I love my adventerous eaters!!